Thundercats Transformers and GI Joe

I realize that just one day after I promised to write every day....I didn't write.  HEY!  Leave me alone!  I am busy, jerks.  I'll do better.  Today's episode is sponsored by the letter "kids TV Shows aren't as good as they used to be". 

Having a child, and just being a cartoon liker in general, I find myself watching more and more kids shows these days.  The point of these shows is to entertain and uplift, but I am depressed watching them.  Where is the violence?  Where are the racial stereotypes??  Where are the damn 75-foot cliff falls???  20 years ago...that's where.

The kids shows today are half-assed at best.  Blues Clues?  The dog can't even talk!  Lassy could tell Timmy that his uncle was on fire in a barn in Russia and the latitude and longitude of said barn just by barking.  Blue has to bark and point at things right in front of this idiot's face just to get him to see the HUMONGOUS blue paw print on something.  Yeah, dummy, go ahead...write it in your notebook...you're a fool.

And then there is the multitude of "politically correct" shows with their themes completely changed to promote child safety and well-fare.  THAT'S THE PARENTS' JOB!  Quit having Cookie Monster tell children to eat fruits and vegetables.  That is the fruit and vegetable puppets' job.  You are not only confusing kids by having the COOKIE monster tell them to only "sometimes" eat cookies, but you are also laying off the fruit and vegetable puppeteers.  Shame on you Sesame Street.  And where has Snuffalufugus and Oscar the Grouch gone?  I hate Elmo.  This little idiot has single-handedly taken over Sesame Street.  Gone are the days of Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, Snuff, and Prarie Dawn and Oscar.  Oh!  And GROVER!  My favorite!  Where have they gone?  Loved Grover.

There are a few shows out there that are mildly entertaining.  Yo Gabba Gabba is ridiculous, but I can't look away.  I'm amazed that drug addicts haven't found this show yet.  There are so many crazy things and colors going on, it surprises me that they don't have a warning their show might cause epileptic seizures.

But where has the good stuff gone?  I'm not claiming my generation had the best children's programming, but....wait....YES I AM.  Mario Bros, Thundercats, He-Man, Gi Joe, Fraggle Rock, the Muppets, Muppet Babies, GOOD Sesame Street, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, 3-2-1 Contact, Pinwheel, Today's Special.  Then on into the nineties with Salute Your Shorts, Hey Dude, Are You Afraid of the Dark, Ren and Stimpy, Two Stupid Dogs, Power Rangers, X-Men, Spiderman, Batman.  I could go on forever.  The Warner Bros and Jim Henson would simultaneously vomit if they saw what was being done to their creations these days.  Mr. Roger's would keep his cardigan on as he whipped the ass of today's tv execs.  Even classics like the Flintstones, the Jetsons, the Snorks, the Hair Bears, Yogi bear, and the rest of the Hannah Barbara line are being ignored by today's youth.  Boomerang should be channel 1 on your dial.  Or at least in the top twenty. 

There is not one single show I have seen that could hold a candle to the shows of my youth.  I could pick the absolute worse show of the eighties and it would destroy the highest rated kids shows today.  It would be like Carl Lewis racing a blind kid in a wheel chair.  Might have stepped over a line there, BUT IT'S TRUE!  Coincidence that one of the highest rated movies of this summer...and last summer...and the summer before that is based on a cartoon from the eighties???  (transformers).  Go Bots were better anyway.

I guess this is the way of things though.  As bad parents everywhere continue to blame other things for their children being terrible, children's television and video games will continue to take hits.  This ties in with my previous rant about Showbiz pizza and the crappier Chuck E. Cheese.  I feel like I could bring back good television for kids.....but where to start?

Here's a little something for you children of the eighties.