Saturday, July 30, 2011

Horrible tipping habits

Ok, today's topic is kind of a big problem.  More so for women than men, but it happens with men too.  It involves servers and bartenders for the most part.  But the rest of you on the other side of this token should learn a lesson. 

If any of you, particularly women, have waited tables before you know, and should, hate this.  A dude and his friends come in, sit at your table, and begin flirting.  Drinks and food are served, and if the waitress knows how to make money, she should be flirting back a little.  The time comes for the bill, the guys pay, and leave.  The poor unsuspecting waitress checks the tip and.....BAM!  A phone number rests on the bill instead of a hefty tip.  You guys who do this should be ashamed of yourselves.  No woman who has just served you will want to call you if you did not tip her.  That's like putting a warning on the bill saying "don't call this number!!"  Hey retards, tip your waitresses!  No female waits tables to meet guys...especially idiots who don't tip.  ESPECIALLY idiots who think their waitress flirts with them because she is interested.  I bet you think the girls at hooters are really into to you too, huh? 

The guy side of this is much less prominent, but it's still there nonetheless.  A lot of girls (skanks) out there think that if they dress provocatively and flirt with their male server, that acts as a tip.  Never does this ever take the place of a tip.  Poor, gullible guys get the shaft here again.  Guys wait tables for tips, not titties.  Sorry girls, put the girls away and get out your pocket books. 

The moral of the story is, flirting and your number will never work as a tip.  The best way to get a server to be interested in you is to take care of them for taking care of you.  Quit being stupid.  And for those of you out there who don't tip at all, you should be ashamed of yourselves.  Shame shame shame.

Here's a little view of what we all want to do to you guys:

Friday, July 29, 2011

My Child Can Say Banana!!

Well, kind of.  She said "dunanu".  It is the same amount of syllables and letters, and when said, could be mistaken for banana.  Plus, she was eating bananas at the time.  Coincidence?  I'll let you be the judge.  Have a great weekend!!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Hate Spiral

Ok, I am so so sorry for the break between posts.  Been going through a bit of life lately, but I'm back.

I have to admit that today's post, though drawn straight out of my day today, is brought to you by a topic from Hyperbole and a Half.  If you haven't read her stuff, it is absolutely hilarious.  One of her better posts is called Sneaky Hate Spiral and that is the focus of today's rant.

Today started out like any other day.  Rolled my lazy butt out of bed, played some black ops, and got ready for work.  By the way, Black Ops is my shit.  And I am a monster.  Like the Angel of Death for those little video game bodies.

I walked into work a little irritated, just because it is Monday.  And Monday means beer liquor and wine inventory.  Ever go to work, or anywhere really, and it just seems like there is just a cloud of aggravation over the entire place?  That was today at the restaurant.  I felt like Ashton Kutcher had somehow replaced my restaurant with a replica restaurant and sent each and every server, bartender, and guest there specifically to push my buttons.  For those of you who lived under a rock in the early 2000's, that is a Punk'd reference. 

It just seemed like everything all night long that could have gone wrong did.

"The lady said she wanted extra cheese." (small annoyance)

"Can I go smoke?"  (no.)

"I know I rang in a well done steak....I forgot he said medium rare..."  (seriously??)

"Oops, I just broke 3 glasses and spilled soup!"  (here it comes)

"Hey Bo, mind if i take a smoke break?"  (you can not smoke right now)

"I know you just boxed that up to go, but the lady wants it to eat here now. :)"  (GAH)

"Can I smoke?" no  "Can I smoke?" no!  "Can I smoke??"  NO!  "Pleeeeaaasseeee???"  .....ok

"This dude doesn't want to pay for his drink, even though it is what he ordered" (...)

Then it happened......

"My steak was undercooked...."

  And that is when the Sneaky Hate Spiral hit me like a ton of bricks.  The worst part is, the guy was absolutely right.  His steak was undercooked, it was our fault, and he was well within his rights to ask for the steak to be brought up to his liking.  But I am standing on the edge of Hate Canyon, so.......BAM!  And at this point everyone near me becomes a potential target for my tremendous pouring out of the aggravation I have been storing inside me all day.  So I need a place to chill out before I say or do something retarded to an undeserving server.

And where is a great place to cool off in a restaurant??  THE FREEZER.  Best place on earth if you are either a frozen good or a person who is pissed off.  And the only reason to come out of there is: 1. Hypothermia, or 2.  Because the cold air made you have to pee (which is usually right as you enter).  Man, I could sleep in there.

The freezer helped a little, but the thing that really pulled me out was this:

A picture of my sweet little girl

Monday, July 4, 2011

Mr. Laundry.....Sorry Liz

Happy Fourth of July everyone!  And to celebrate our nation's independence, I have decided to share a comical story of my childhood.  There are four characters in this narrative: Bo Wright, Josh Wright, Elizabeth Wright, and Mr. Laundry.  Please to enjoy.  This is for you Laurel Davis and Carolyn Kinney, I hope you see it.

So when my brother and I were younger, we lived in a house with no real laundry room in the house, so my parents used a closet in the hall as kind of a hamper.  So at times, there was a huge pile of dirty laundry there.  I was around 10 or 11, so my sister was 3 or 4. 

I don't remember why I climbed underneath the dirty clothes pile in the closet on this particular day, but I was under there and Elizabeth walked by.  I figured I would have some fun and see where this went.  The conversation went something like this.

Me:  Hey

Elizabeth: ??  Hello?

Me:  Who are you?

Elizabeth:  My name is Jessica (we called her Jessica back then), who are you?

Me:  Um.....well, I'm Mr. Laundry.  I live here with my wife, Mrs. Laundry.

Elizabeth:  Hello Mr. Laundry!  :))))))

She would talk to me, or my brother (whichever one of us was under there at the time), for long periods of time about whatever was going on in her 4-year old life at the moment.  You know, bugs, dolls, mean brothers....those kinds of things. 

When she would ask us if she could come to our house, we would make up some elaborate story about how she would have to go through a cave with bats and shit in it just to get to our door.  It seemed to work.  Sometimes Josh or I would get bored with the Mr. Laundry schtick and say,"Hold on, I'm going to get Mrs. Laundry.  She wants to say hello."  We would hit the floor to make noises like we were going down some stairs, and then make more like we were coming back upstairs.  Then I would talk in a woman's voice and say I was Mrs. Laundry. 

This went on for months, and Elizabeth never even tried to climb into the clothes to discover that it was her brothers and not some mythical dirty clothes man made of clothes.  It was great fun. 

I always imagined myself looking like this.  For those of you who grew up in the eighties or before then, you should know what this thing on the left is.  This is the magical trash heap from Fraggle Rock.  Whenever, the fraggles would have a problem, they would consult the magical trash heap, and she would drop some knowledge on them to help them with their problems.  Genius, Jim Henson, genius. 

I know, of course, we did not look like the magical trash heap.  We probably looked a lot more like the pile of clothes on the right.  It was fun nonetheless, and Elizabeth never suspected a thing.

Little sisters are funny little beings, who given the chance, can enrich the rest of our lives by being gullible or dumb haha.  I'll never forget about Mr. Laundry and the days I spent talking to a four year old in a dumb voice about her day.  To this day, my brother and I talk about Mr. Laundry and how funny and trusting Elizabeth was.  Boy, did we ruin that.....

Tomorrow we'll talk about Home-made haunted houses and how much fun they are for the whole family.  And when I say whole family, I mean me and Josh.  And when I say fun, I mean terrifying for four year old girls....

Here's a bit of nostalgia for your Fraggle Rock fans

Friday, July 1, 2011

Awesome Stuff from Amazing People

Hey everyone.  Not much on the chopping block today, but I would like to make sure everyone is heading to downtown Columbus tomorrow morning for the marketplace stuff they have going on there.  My brother, Josh Wright, and his beautiful bride, Rachel, will be there selling their stuff.  Rachel is a supremely talented artist, and she will be selling her paintings.  Josh has just found his talents as a sculptor of sorts.  Bowls, cups and garden stuffs all made out of concrete.  They are awesome!

You can go here to check out their almost-completed website, where you will soon be able to purchase their stuff online.  But for now, hit them up on Broad tomorrow morning.  :)

On a side note, Rachel is also a blogger with some fantastic stuff for everyone! 

Rachel's Awesome Blog

See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Thundercats Transformers and GI Joe

I realize that just one day after I promised to write every day....I didn't write.  HEY!  Leave me alone!  I am busy, jerks.  I'll do better.  Today's episode is sponsored by the letter "kids TV Shows aren't as good as they used to be". 

Having a child, and just being a cartoon liker in general, I find myself watching more and more kids shows these days.  The point of these shows is to entertain and uplift, but I am depressed watching them.  Where is the violence?  Where are the racial stereotypes??  Where are the damn 75-foot cliff falls???  20 years ago...that's where.

The kids shows today are half-assed at best.  Blues Clues?  The dog can't even talk!  Lassy could tell Timmy that his uncle was on fire in a barn in Russia and the latitude and longitude of said barn just by barking.  Blue has to bark and point at things right in front of this idiot's face just to get him to see the HUMONGOUS blue paw print on something.  Yeah, dummy, go ahead...write it in your're a fool.

And then there is the multitude of "politically correct" shows with their themes completely changed to promote child safety and well-fare.  THAT'S THE PARENTS' JOB!  Quit having Cookie Monster tell children to eat fruits and vegetables.  That is the fruit and vegetable puppets' job.  You are not only confusing kids by having the COOKIE monster tell them to only "sometimes" eat cookies, but you are also laying off the fruit and vegetable puppeteers.  Shame on you Sesame Street.  And where has Snuffalufugus and Oscar the Grouch gone?  I hate Elmo.  This little idiot has single-handedly taken over Sesame Street.  Gone are the days of Bert and Ernie, Big Bird, Snuff, and Prarie Dawn and Oscar.  Oh!  And GROVER!  My favorite!  Where have they gone?  Loved Grover.

There are a few shows out there that are mildly entertaining.  Yo Gabba Gabba is ridiculous, but I can't look away.  I'm amazed that drug addicts haven't found this show yet.  There are so many crazy things and colors going on, it surprises me that they don't have a warning their show might cause epileptic seizures.

But where has the good stuff gone?  I'm not claiming my generation had the best children's programming, but....wait....YES I AM.  Mario Bros, Thundercats, He-Man, Gi Joe, Fraggle Rock, the Muppets, Muppet Babies, GOOD Sesame Street, Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, 3-2-1 Contact, Pinwheel, Today's Special.  Then on into the nineties with Salute Your Shorts, Hey Dude, Are You Afraid of the Dark, Ren and Stimpy, Two Stupid Dogs, Power Rangers, X-Men, Spiderman, Batman.  I could go on forever.  The Warner Bros and Jim Henson would simultaneously vomit if they saw what was being done to their creations these days.  Mr. Roger's would keep his cardigan on as he whipped the ass of today's tv execs.  Even classics like the Flintstones, the Jetsons, the Snorks, the Hair Bears, Yogi bear, and the rest of the Hannah Barbara line are being ignored by today's youth.  Boomerang should be channel 1 on your dial.  Or at least in the top twenty. 

There is not one single show I have seen that could hold a candle to the shows of my youth.  I could pick the absolute worse show of the eighties and it would destroy the highest rated kids shows today.  It would be like Carl Lewis racing a blind kid in a wheel chair.  Might have stepped over a line there, BUT IT'S TRUE!  Coincidence that one of the highest rated movies of this summer...and last summer...and the summer before that is based on a cartoon from the eighties???  (transformers).  Go Bots were better anyway.

I guess this is the way of things though.  As bad parents everywhere continue to blame other things for their children being terrible, children's television and video games will continue to take hits.  This ties in with my previous rant about Showbiz pizza and the crappier Chuck E. Cheese.  I feel like I could bring back good television for kids.....but where to start?

Here's a little something for you children of the eighties.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Ok. Need a topic. Food maybe? Ok Go!

I am on a thing now where I want to write something new every single day.  I do it like this.  I pretend I have fans on this thing, so I can't let them down!  They need my musings on things in their lives, so I must write something new every day!  They would lead less fulfilled lives if deprived of my stuff.   I feel very self-sacrificing now.  Very unselfish.  And here.....we....go (Joker Dark Knight).

You know what grinds my gears?  Not enough people eat peanut-butter, banana and mayo sandwiches.  This travesty has gone on long enough.  I am tired of being treated like a villain or mad scientist every time I eat one of these phenomenal concoctions of the culinary world.  And making it is so simple!  Peanut butter.  Who doesn't like this?  Maybe people with peanut are excused.  Bananas.  Excellent source of Potassium and energy.  Plus, you can make wiener jokes with them.  It's a toy AND food.  Mayo.  Now here's where it gets tricky.

People have been having the mayonnaise debate since the dawn of time.  One of the great arguments left out of the Bible was between Adam and Eve. 

Eve: "Hey honey, could you grab the mayonnaise for me?"

Adam: "All we have is Miracle whip"

Eve: "Yeah, I bought it.  I love it."

Adam: "But God told us not to eat Miracle Whip.  It is a sin."

Eve: "God won't know, you can't even taste the difference."

Adam: "Really?  Cool, make me a sandwich too."

So Eve makes the sandwich, they both eat, and BAM!!!  Kicked out of the garden.  God knows what is best.  He doesn't want us eating that nasty mayonnaise substitute.  Real mayo is fantastic.  YES YOU CAN TASTE THE DIFFERENCE!  YES YOU CAN!  You wouldn't eat a pile of dog poo if Filet Mignon was readily available for the same price would you?  No.  You would not.  And if you would, I don't want you eating my favorite sandwich, because I don't want people thinking I have the same taste in food as the poop-eater.

Anyway, back on track.  With these three fantastic ingredients, how could a sandwich go wrong?  The majority of nay-sayers to this lovely food have never even tried it.  They are so appalled that fruit, mayo and peanut butter would be combined that they turn their nose up at the mere sight of it.  Try it though!  It's so good!  White bread, wheat bread, go your own way.  Experiment!  Maybe throw some potato chips in there.  Go crazy!  I won't judge you for potato chips. I used to do it too!  Just no salt and vinegar.  Gross.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

The Rise and Fall of Chuck E. Cheese

Chuck E. Cheese.  Where a kid can be a kid.  This line haunts my thoughts after my visit to a birthday party there today, because it is no longer Mecca for every child I don't believe.  I am going to take a little time to explain to you the horrors I witnessed at the hands of a dude in a rat suit today.

First of all, it was originally "Showbiz Pizza".  Best place on Earth by far.  Eiffel Tower?  Nope.  Leaning Tower of Pisa?  Forget about it.  Grand Canyon?  A ditch.  Showbiz was where my brother and I ached every moment of our childhood to return.  An actual playground with a huge ball pit and cargo net used to escape the ball pit.  Slide of course.  Arcade games, ski ball, and tons of stuff to play on.  The pizza was delicious and you had a gorilla, "Fatz", sing to you as you ate.  Shangri-la has nothing on this place for a child in the eighties.  If any of you were alive back then, you can relate.

I walk in to this impostor's palace of lies and what do I see?  Certainly not a ball pit.  No cargo netting.  You used to be able to watch Fatz and his band light up the stage with their antics in a separate room to make it feel like you were actually in a concert.....a gorilla-led concert.  Nope.  The concert area is now joined with the arcade, so now the sounds of the games would drown out Fatz....IF HE EVEN SANG ANYMORE.  Fatz didnt even speak...much less sing.  There was no animatronic variety show.  All that was now replaced by a moron in a rat suit and his "helpers" (Chuck E. Cheese employees who seem a little less than thrilled to be there).  Sure, Fatz is still there, but he just moves silently, kind of like someone had stolen his soul.  He is doomed to forever play the piano without telling jokes, singing or even conversing with his bird friend with pom-pom hair.  For shame Chuck. 

The pizza was mediocre at best.  Poor showmanship by mr. Chuck.  "Animatronic, soulless shells of what they used to be" robots playing along to the new piper, Chuck.  I was appalled.  Not because of the poor show, however.  The kids had a blast.  I was upset, because I knew in my heart how much fun they COULD have been having if they had been born before people cared about child safety.  We used to roll around in that ball pit for hours.  Just swimming in vomit and urine.  We didn't care.  I would hide in wait under the balls, just waiting for my brother or any other unsuspecting child to come wading by, then.......BAM!  I popped out like a ball pit ninja, blasting them in the face with a multi-colored spray of plastic death.  So much fun.

I was happy to see that my ski ball skills had improved since my last visit, 20 years ago.  Tokens seem to last a lot longer when you don't suck.  Josh and I would blow through tokens like there was no tomorrow.  I was also happy to see that video games no longer require 2-4 tokens per game.  Even Chuck E. knows there is a recession on, and he feels for the kids.  Still 4 tokens for a dollar.....but each game is only 1 token!  Thanks Chuck!  Also, they have this booth kids can get in that shoots tickets around like the car dealerships have for people to grab as much money as they can.  Tickets fly everywhere.  Bless the little kids' hearts.  Their hands are too small to grab more than 10.  In my stupid mind, I developed a strategy, thinking maybe someday I might find myself in that booth and I would have all the tickets to myself. 

In summation, we miss you Fatz.  I want my child to be able to hear him sing.  I want children of all races and creeds and ages to know that big monkey's booming voice.  Alas, it is not to be.  He is forever silent.  That stinking rat has the mic now, and he is blowing it.

Here is what it used to look like!!

And here is a video of the old showbiz show!

Friday, June 24, 2011

BoMilk: Getting Grumpy?

BoMilk: Getting Grumpy?: "**Disclaimer** This post is crude...but funny. If you are appalled or disgusted by bathroom humor, then stop right here. Enjoy my other p..."

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Getting Grumpy?

**Disclaimer**  This post is crude...but funny.  If you are appalled or disgusted by bathroom humor, then stop right here.  Enjoy my other posts about music or dining out.  They are nice too. As for the rest of you, enjoy.  **Disclaimer**

Ok.  A couple months ago I heard my brother, Josh, refer to going number 2 as getting "grumpy".  I thought this was the most hilarious reference I had ever heard.  For weeks, I giggled every time I sat down to do my business.  I pictured a grumpy old man's face every time I pooped.  It seems odd to me now that I pictured an old man pooping every time I pooped.  I just made myself feel awkward in a room alone.  Crap.  Pardon the pun.

But now that I think about it, getting "grumpy" is the opposite description of what I would think someone experiences during that time.  Baring constipation, that part of the day is one of the most relieving and peaceful times of my life.  I mean think about it....does this guy describe what you experience on the "throne"?

He looks so mean and perturbed.  This guys says, "I'm not having a good time.  I would rather be doing anything else than taking the browns to the super bowl."  This is not me on the toilet.

Side note:  Speaking of Grumpy, I came across this when I was looking for pictures.  Anyone remember these books??  Maybe I am dating myself here, but I used to read these books all the time as a child.  Once again.....this is not me on the toilet.

THIS IS ME ON THE TOILET.  I realize as I am typing this that this topic might be a little too much for some people.  Maybe I'll put a disclaimer at the top.  Ok.  Done. 

This is me.  Going to the restroom is such a freeing, relaxing, nice experience that Happy Dwarf (or maybe Dopey depending on whether I am giggling on the toilet or not) best describes me I guess.  Look at him.  Remember when you were a kid and the pride you felt when you pooped in the potty instead of crapping your pants?  This is what Happy here has just done.  Look at him.  So Proud. 

Poop is such a time of joy and freedom.  It seems to me that the person who first called it "grumpy" was someone traumatized as a child in a bathroom.  A person who fears the very notion of poop.  Well I challenge that person to look at this picture and try not to smile.  How could something so innocent and happy looking be grumpy?  It can't.  By it's very nature it is a happy time.  Ridding your body of toxins.  And for those lucky and free souls who are fortunate enough to be able to have the door open?  Forget about it!  I like to have the lights off with the afternoon sun coming through the window.  Maybe I'm naked, who knows what the day will bring and what kind of mood I'll be in.  Either way it is a great, very rewarding time.

Now there are times when "grumpy" can be applied.  Here is a list of times that Happy Dwarf or the smiling, cute poop does not show up:

Mexican Food
Thai Food
Gas Station/Rest Stop bathrooms
Places with 1-ply toilet paper (Nothing like multi-ply toilet paper.  It's like wiping with a quilt)

There you have it.  My poop rant.  Thank you Josh for the material.  Now go out there, be the best person you can be, and eat plenty of fiber.....but not too much.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Diner's License

Ok, being a restaurant manager, I feel like I have an obligation to the entire world to make this post.  This will be a very informative read.  Take it.  Learn it.  Apply it.  You will get better service from happier servers.  It might not make your food taste any better, but you will be enriching the lives of people in the food service industry.  You don't like when idiots mess with you at your job right?  Right.  Here we go.

#1.  When you enter a restaurant, please stop at the hostess stand.  Do not pass the hostess stand, ignore the girls (or guys sometimes) at the door and then wander aimlessly around the restaurant like no one will help you.  Your help is behind passed it on the way in.  Do you enter a hospital and pass reception and wander around looking for doctors?  No?  Then don't do it here.

#2.  When speaking to your hostess, correctly quote how many people WILL be coming.  Not how many people you hope will come....not how many people you think might come.  We need an accurate head count.  Don't say 11 when you know it will be 6.  That steals space from the restaurant and in my opinion, we should charge for unused seats.  Only makes sense.

#3.  Don't order a water with another beverage unless you really intend on drinking the water.  Too many times waters are left FULL on the table after you have drank 7 diet cokes.  You are wasting your server's time he/she could be spending serving you.  You aren't going to drink the water too.  Don't order it.

#4.  READ THE MENU.  If you order something that has something you don't like on it, and you don't say to leave that off, then it is your fault that it comes on there.  Read the is very helpful.  The restaurant is in no way obligated to give you ANOTHER dish because you didn't read that pecans come in your chicken salad.  Whether you eat it or not, you should have to pay for it.

#5.  Say you get your entree, and you don't like it.  SORRY!  My obligation with your food ends when it hits the table if it was made correctly.  You don't like the way your chicken parmesian tastes?  TOO BAD!  If you would like something else, you must pay for something else.  Want to try everything on the menu?  Ryans is right down the road.  They encourage that kind of retarded behavior.  We do not.

#6.  If you order an alcoholic drink you have never tried before, don't get upset when I make you pay for it when you don't quite like it.  You ordered it, my bartender made it to spec....DRINK IT.  Or don't, I don't are paying for it anyway.  Whoever came up with this idea that if you don't like something, you shouldn't have to pay for it is insane.  I had to pay for the product, pay someone to make it, pay someone to serve it to you, and pay someone to wash the dish or glass.  Why on earth should I take it off your bill if you don't like it????  Try that at McDonald's and see if they don't laugh at you.  Oh, you'll not be returning to my establishment?  OH NO!  We won't miss your business.  Learn how to eat out before returning here, please.

#7.  If you need something from your server and someone else also needs something, please ask for it at the same time.  Don't wait until the server returns from one task to ask him/her to do another one.  This equals an aggravated server.

#8.  Extra condiments cost money.  Sorry.

#9.  If you are in a party of more than six, expect gratuity to be added.  Simple as that.

#10.  So you have finished your meal, and your server has done very well.  15% is not a good tip.  Ever.  In any situation.  15% should be given in cases where you have received the bare minimum in service.  If your server has done a great job, then 20-25% is not only prudent but it is expected.  These kids, and sometimes adults, only make $2 an hour.  $2 AN HOUR!  Do you understand this?  Not only that, but they have to put up with rude, mean, obnoxious people on a nightly basis.  Reward them for a job well done, because 15% says to a server that they did not do a good job.

There.  10 simple rules to use when dining out.  There are more nuances to the dining ritual, but these should get you started.  I have always thought a person should be made to obtain a "Diner's License" before being allowed to eat out.  There would be a written and practical test a person would have to pass in order to obtain one.  And your license would have to be shown to hostesses before being allowed entrance into the establishment.  If you don't pass?  Sorry, enjoy Burger King for the next 30 days before you are able to retake the test.  Drive-thru's don't require the license.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Bonnaroo 2011 Rundown

Well, Bonnaroo 2011 is over, and I had a blast.  This was my first year going, but my brother had been before.  So I was warned of the wall of smelly, dirty hippies I would most certainly encounter.  And I did encounter them.  All eighty thousand of them.  That's right.....eighty thousand people at this thing.  It was fantastic though, and I thoroughly enjoyed becoming one of them for 4 days.

The first day we didn't see many bands, because there weren't many big bands playing.   We went into Centeroo and walked around through this huge welcoming entrance. 
We watched the Walkmen that night, but not much else was going on.  So we wandered around and listened to some bands we didn't really know and turned in for the night.

Day 2 was MUCH better after we got into Centeroo.  We stood in line for 2 hours to get in.....  The first band we saw was Grace Potter and the Nocturnals.  They were great.  Downside to 95 degree heat?  HUGE line at the water station.  So half of the concert was spent with my back to it filling water bottles.  Grace has a great voice though, so my back enjoyed the show.  Upset that I missed Matt and Kim, we walked over to "This Tent" (the dustiest stage on earth) to see Atmosphere.  It was a great show.  Everyone wasn't a fan of hip hop though, so some stood in the back out of the dust storm's way. 

The highlight of my day, though, was Ray LaMontagne.  He was absolutely amazing.  He played every song I wanted to hear, as well as a Pink Floyd cover that was very good.  The only downside was the geniuses who scheduled the acts for the week scheduled Ray and Florence and the Machine at the same time.  Here's a little bit of Ray for everyone
After Ray, we caught Florence and the Machine's last two songs: Heavy in Your Arms and Dog Days.  Both fantastic.  Everyone was tired and hungry so we walked back to the tents (about a ten minute walk) to eat.  We listened to My Morning Jacket from the tents and readied for the show of the night, Arcade Fire!  They were amazing.  My favorite performance of the weekend.  It was ridiculous how many people were there.  They walked off stage before playing "Wake Up", so I knew they had to play an encore.  We got as close as we could to hear this.......
I got chills.  It was a great show.  The rest of the night was Bassnectar and Pretty Lights.  I ended up not going to either.....but I heard they were amazing.

Day 3....Old Crow Medicine Show started at two, so I listened to them from the tent haha.  Too hot to stand in line again for an hour. Amos Lee and a couple other bands played as well, but the big show of the day for me was Mumford and Sons.  We got pretty close and they put on a fantastic show.  We didn't realize how many people were there until about half way through when we looked behind us.  It was nuts.  GREAT show.  They played a few news songs too that sounded great.  Can't wait for their new album. 
The Black Keys got a HUGE crowd....but not because they are awesome.  Eminem played after them, so everyone wanted to get there early to get close for Eminem.  For that very reason, we listened to half of the Black Keys set and went back to the tents.  I REGRET THIS DECISION.  We listened to Eminem from the tents and the show was the best of the entire weekend.  We really missed a great show.  After Eminem, we headed back into Centeroo for Scissor Sisters, Girl Talk and STS9.  All amazing shows. 

Final Day...I missed the Head and the Heart because of how late we were out the night before.  Disappointing.  The first show we caught was Neon Trees and they weren't as good as I expected.  Next was either Iron and Wine or Cold War Kids, we caught a little of both.  Cold War Kids were much better.  The big decision of the day was Strokes or Explosions in the Sky.  I made the wrong choice.  We went to the Strokes.  I'm sure if the sound crew hadn't messed them up, they would have been great, but the sound was terrible.  So terrible, in fact, that we moved over to Explosions.....FANTASTIC.  They were great.  Absolutely phenomenal.  We ended the weekend back at the tents listening to Widespread do their usual thing.

Now that I have said my peace about the music.....IT WAS SO HOT.  I was shirtless the entire time and sweated to death.  High 90's every day, dust everywhere and I mean everywhere.  It was a great weekend, though and I can not wait for next year.  It was one of the best experiences of my life.  Lollapalooza is coming up in August and it looks pretty good.....

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Tree Hugging and Wedding Bells

This is me doing my part for the environment.  Activists say "hug a tree".  I say why stop there?  You ever see a tree get some serious lovin?  Ever?  They have to be lonely!  Even the 12-year cicadas get it on once every 12 years.  Poor old trees are cheated when their seeds fall and have their little germination party on the ground while the lonely trees just stand there and watch.  Poor Trees.

That said, I got this picture from my sister in law Rachel.  Check out her awesome stuff over here!  It is their one-year anniversary coming up this weekend and she was going through her wedding pictures.  This gem is what "popped up".....excuse the play on words....totally unintentional.  In any case, everyone make sure to wish Josh Wright and Rachel Tillery Wright a happy anniversary this week!  Here is a little knowledge about their wedding.

They got married at the beautiful Island of Jekyll.  It was a lovely affair.  We arrived a couple days early and started the "festivities".  These included the things you would imagine a bunch of twenty-somethings to be doing on the week of a wedding at a beach resort.....Bachi Ball!  Oh.....and there was alcohol too :). 

The rehearsal went off without a hitch.....except if I remember correctly, the preacher NOR a wedding planner showed for it.  Rachel did her best to put a smile on as seen left (sorry Rach).  I took this picture by the way, so eat your heart out "professionals".  The weather held out for us and the rehearsal dinner went great as well.  No one got drunk.  I promise mom.  No one.  Scout's honor.

Wedding Day!!!!

Pictures went great......except for the nun.  The damn nun.  Ok, so on the exact same day as Rachel and Josh's wedding, there was....ahem.....another wedding.  But it was far down the beach, so their weirdos didn't mingle with out normal people.  So, we're there taking pictures, right?  So this nun comes up to us....asks us to move....straight face and everything....because their procession was going to walk BEHIND where we were taking pictures.  REALLY?  If she hadn't been a woman of the cloth, Rachel might have tossed her skinny, ruler carrying butt in the ocean.  Man, I wish I had a picture of this woman.  Straight out of poltergeist, she looked like the old dude at the beginning who talks to the little kid and it rains when he walks up.  Remember that guy?  Well, turn it into a woman, and you have a pretty good picture of this person.  I'm rambling....back on track.  Time for the wedding!

 Beautiful wedding.  Rachel looked fantastic and Josh looked ok.  Nothing special.  He's a dude, he knows.  No one is looking at him in this shindig.  Awesome ceremony....something happened though.  Rachel is going to have to help me out...maybe I'll call Josh.  It was something funny.  Be right back......Josh didn't answer, texting Rachel.....crap.  Oh well, maybe I'll put it in tomorrow's post. **EDIT** Heard from them both.  Rachel put the ring on the wrong hand.  Not as big a deal as I remember.  I feel ashamed now.  Oh Well.  KEEP READING!**  It was supposed to rain during the day, but God held that rain back until we got under the tent for the reception.  Awesome reception.  Everyone had a great time.  In fact, I remember someone saying "wow, every person here is having a great time."  Which was true.  The rest of the night is kind of a blur.  Rachel's brother, Ryan, convinced me it was a good idea to keep the tuxes on all night....including trips to the ocean, pool and hot tub.  Here are some pictures of the night.  Enjoy.

 Great night!  No pictures of the hot tub tuxedo unfortunately....ladies, use your imagination :).  All in all it wa a fantastic weekend and we got an AMAZING sister out of it!  Happy Anniversary Josh and Rachel!  

Ok, that's for Josh and Rachel.  Sweet stuff.  Here is something for everyone else.  Thanks to Josh Caldwell and Pa We for this one.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Helplessness Baby Blues

Listening to Fleet Foxes new album and watching the Bulls dominate the Heat.  If the Bulls win, tomorrow will be a fantastic day.  Helplessness Blues, Fleet Foxes new album, is, like the rest of their music, amazing!  I found out today that if you do not feed an infant, they tend to get cranky.  She cries, I feed her.  That is how the relationship is developing.  I love the child, but all I can think is "get a job and get out of my house, freeloader".  When Lindsay gave birth to this bundle of joy, the doctors didn't tell me she was actually a wallet-eating gremlin sent from the underworld to ruin sleep and even the most well-thought out plans. 

I'm kidding of course (Wife reads this).  Isabelle is awesome and is now beginning to crawl.  This means one thing.  If I put her on the ground with a toy and go about my business, chances are high she won't be there when I return.  This is aggravating.  I have a solution!  We have a dog kennel-type fence.  Pictures to come! 

P.S. - No hate mail please.  Isabelle won't be in there for long....unless a good game of black ops erupts.  In which case I can not be held accountable if Lindsay comes home to her daughter eating dog food and drinking from the dog bowl...builds character anyway.  Who among us hasn't tried dog food?? ....... You, sir or madame, are a liar.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Bonarroo 2011

I can't wait!  Bonarroo this year is going to be great.  It will be my first time going, but my brother has been a couple times and loved it.  The line-up this year is fantastic as well.  I would have loved to see Dave Matthews of course, the Avett brothers, or a Edward and the Magnetic Zeros in the lineup, but the current one is very very nice.  Eminem, Arcade Fire (hurray!), the Black Keys, Stephen Stills and Neil Young (half of CSNY), My Morning Jacket, Robert Plant, Ray Lamontagne, Mumford and Sons, the Strokes, Iron and Wine, Florence and the Machine, Explosions in the Sky, Atmosphere, Lewis Black, and the Neon Trees will all be there among tons of other bands (these were just my favorites).  The weekend is going to be amazing! 

Here are a few of the bands coming up and my favorite songs of theirs....enjoy.

Arcade Fire - Wake Up

Ray Lamontagne - Hold You in My Arms

Mumford and Sons - Roll Away Your Stone

Florence and the Machine - Dog Days are Over

2 and a half more weeks!

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Don't Touch Me

Ok, so I was playing around on YouTube, uploading some videos for our journey through this blog thing together and I found this video.  For those of you who do not know Space Ghost music or Brak, you are in for a treat. 

**Disclaimer**  No one in this video is having a seizure.  We claim to have learned this dancing from reruns of Soul Train.  Thank you Don Cornelius.

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time

I would like to kick off this thing by formally thanking my brother Josh and his beautiful wife Rachel for the name.  Josh started it all, but Rachel keeps it alive to this day.  Video to come.  The entire time I was creating this bastard, I had all these amazing things I was going to talk about and now.....blank.  Writer's block right off the bat.  I just heard one of my cooks outside the office yell "That's what she said".  Couldn't hear what prompted it, but I cheered the use of it nonetheless. 

I am excited about this blog.  I imagine it being something like a cross between a sports, video games, and cartoons blog.  Maybe with some nudity, violence and cursing.  I don't know....we'll see where the day takes us.  Either way, it's going to be fun and I'm excited.  Maybe the next series posts will have more substance to them, but I am at work.  And as a responsible manager, my conscience won't allow me to continue....gotta find something funny on youtube to end this with first though.

Here you go, enjoy, you're welcome. 

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