New Year's Resolutions

I don't have any.  I guess my only one is to do more races....and maybe find a woman who could be a good wife....and who knows, win the lottery.  1 and 2 are main goals.  The lottery would just be a bonus I guess.  First two would be more rewarding. 

Anyway, for all of you cats out there who want to better your health (like every new years resolutionist ever), check this out.  Says it all....

And Pointed Skyward, Scraped the Heavens

Found this little gem on the internets.  Enjoy and happy Monday everyone!

"A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked. "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the 20 dollar note up. He then asked. "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the
ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No
matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still
priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or who we know, but by ...WHO WE ARE.

You are special - don't ever forget it."

I Lost My Way But Now I'm Following

"He went to see, for the day.  He wanted to know, what to say.  When he's asked what he'd done, in the past to someone, that he loved, endlessly, now she's gone, so is he...."  That song is Lille by Lisa Hannigan.  If you want a good night time song, or really a good waking up song, give it a listen.  It's good....usually.  But it hit me like a ton of bricks just now.  And I know why. 

I wasn't an awesome person last year or the year before.  I was a bad friend, an awful husband, a bad father, and just an all around bad person.  I did things that would have made my younger self sick.  But it was easy to fall into that trap.  It's easy for things that are fun, feel great, and are a great time to suck you into them until you no longer see that they are wrong.  Desensitised I guess is the word.  Things that would have really bothered me, no longer did.  It ate me up from the inside out until I was numb to it, and everything else for that matter. 

It was like quicksand.  People tell stories about quicksand, but if you have never encountered it, how can you know what it's really like?  I've never been in quicksand.  I went out, did my thing, and sunk deeper.  And the more I struggled and the more I fought, the deeper I went.  No one could tell me I was wrong.  I knew what I was doing.  I could lie to people enough that I started to live the lies and believe them myself.  I let things very dear to me whither away, decay, fall by the wayside. 

Now, I am glad to say, I am out of the quicksand.  But quicksand comes with a price.  It sucked a lot of things away with it.  Many things that were very very dear to me.  Things that can not ever be replaced.  Reputation, love, trust.  Some things can never be replaced or won back.  I'm still washing that damn sand off my body and pouring it out of my boots.  It's a little easier to wash the sand and muck away when someone is holding the hose for you.  I've got a little hose-holder now.  I'll be in the sunshine soon.  It takes time.  Hell, I've got time. 

Hodge Podge

I don't even know if that's how you spell "hodge podge".  Oh well.  I'm feeling inspired and very self-aware and aware of the state of things around me tonight, so I'm just gonna let it all spill out.  It's going to be an amalgam of ideas and feelings, so here goes.

I'm getting old.  Not in mind, not really in body, and not even in spirit.  I'm getting old compared to my surroundings and the environments I place myself in.  My mind is very young and sharp and has a very deep thirst for knowledge still.  I try my best to keep my body young and strong.  And my spirit has been more refreshed lately than it has been in quite some time.  It's the physical world I have become accustomed to that I am outgrowing.

I am quickly realizing that I am "uncool".  It's laughable to me to say that about myself, but I am beginning to view myself that way.  And it's fine with me!  The things I love are still with me and ever-changing.  And if that means my tastes and desires in life leave some behind then so be it.  WOW that is a very smug and self-righteous sounding thing to say.  I absolutely don't mean it that way. 

I am working on being less of a music and movies snob.  I am coming to the realization that it isn't really one music that is better than any other kind of music.  It's really the reaction that that certain genre of music inspires in you.  If your music makes you feel inside the same way that mine does, then good for you.  Great music can almost be a supernatural experience, and if you have found that, then who the hell am I to tell you mine is better??  I apologize to all you country music listeners.  Do your thing.

Movies are a bit easier to categorize and put in order of excellence.  If you don't appreciate what Quinton Terrantino does, then poop on you (there's my childish mind coming out).  Movies that are made great by special effects are not the movies on the top of the list.  Just recently, I re-watched "Dead Man", and old black and white movie starring Johnny Depp.  I was introduced to this movie in my youth, along with countless other students at Huntingdon, by my favorite professor there, Greg Salyer.  It changed me, and still does.  If you like anything written by William Blake, then this movie is for you.  Neil Young does the soundtrack, also.  I tracked down Dr. Salyer.  I say tracked down like it was difficult.  I didn't put my head to the ground and listen for hooves or smell the groung and broken twigs.  I asked facebook and it told me.  Well I've had the best time just quoting "Dead Man" lines back and forth with him through e-mail. 

So this growing up and becoming uncool is an absolute good thing.  My tastes are growing and changing and evolving.  I am becoming a man.  But not the type of man I imagined as a boy.  Not the type of man my father is or my grandfather was (although they are/were great men).  I'm a different kind of man.  I'm not afraid of showing love, I'm not afraid of loving the arts, and I crave knowledge.  This is the new kind of man coming along these days....I think.  Who knows.  I like it.  Getting this thing back on track.

Here is some music for your personal enjoyment.  Sorry if you don't like it.  I love it.

Blog Blog Blah

Ok I have to write something.  I talked to an awesome person last night about this, so here we go. 

I have this new obsession in my life.  It's called obstacle racing.  Spartan Race, Warrior Dash, Tough Mudder.....maybe some of these sound familiar, and maybe you know what they are.  BUT....it's hard to know what they are like and how exhilarating it is to finish them without actually running one.  They are tough, but more than that, they are fun.  People of all ages, sizes, weights and ages come together, not so much to compete, but to take part in this amazing experience.  Now, of course there are those who run these with one goal in mind...to win.  There are even more, and I would say the majority, who run these races for the atmosphere, the community, and the challenge. 

There are all kinds of races, with many levels of difficulty, but most come in the 5k variety, making it very completable for the average person.  People come dressed in costumes, with team shirts on, or just in shorts and running shoes.  Most races give you a beer at the end, along with a medal and a t shirt.  I'd say the party at the end is the best, most enjoyable part.  You are surrounded by hundreds, sometimes thousands, of people, all covered in mud, dog tired, and drinking a beer.  Most races have a DJ, some have live bands playing music at the end.  There is nothing like the finish line finally coming into view.  And there, just past the Finish line, are hundreds of people dancing and cheering for their friends. 

This community is what has me hooked.  The obstacle racing crowd is a totally different kind of group.  People looking for more than the monotony of a road race is the kind of person you'll find here.  These are people who love nothing more than diving into the mud and crawling under barbed wire, climbing ropes, crawling through tunnels, and jumping over walls and fire.  Some come just to say they finished, but then they can't get enough.  I'm upset if I don't have a race EVERY saturday.  It's disappointing to say the least.  I've even booked a flight to Miami for the end of February for a Super Spartan. 

I know this was different than my usual sarcastic, comedic crap, but I just wanted to share something that has become a huge part of my life.  If you watch this video and STILL aren't motivated to do something like this, then check your pulse.